292-Learning to Submit to Authority Through Jesus#
292-Learning to Submit to Authority Through Jesus
(JP Text Group - Organized by the Little Prince of Heaven)
The topic we are sharing today: Learning to Submit to Authority Through Jesus
Luke 2:42-52
42 When he was twelve years old, they went up according to the custom of the feast. 43 After they had finished the days, as they returned, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, 44 but supposing him to be in the company, they went a day's journey, and they sought him among their relatives and acquaintances. 45 And when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking him.
46 Now it was after three days that they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. 47 And all who heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers. 48 So when they saw him, they were amazed; and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you done this to us? Look, your father and I have sought you anxiously!” 49 And he said to them, “Why did you seek me? Did you not know that I must be about my Father’s business?” 50 But they did not understand the statement which he spoke to them. 51 Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them. But his mother kept all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father! Thank you and praise You! As we begin a new week, we are willing to first receive Your provision, learning how to submit to authority through the example of the child Jesus. When we submit to Your word, we are blessed. Please lead us through the example of Jesus, giving us humble hearts to receive. May the Holy Spirit personally guide each brother and sister. We pray in the name of Lord Jesus. Amen!
After getting married, people face a common issue: raising children. This is a very real matter but without a manual. Life has no manual, and how to raise children varies from person to person, and we often do not know how to proceed. People educate their children based on their own ideas or the views of others from the past. So what should we do?
Many people encounter the frustrating issue of how to interact with their children. Many families say their children are unreasonable, only know how to play games when they come home, are unwilling to do anything, and do not listen. What should we do? When we face these problems, we need to return to the Bible to find answers in this area. If you are not yet married, this is a very good suggestion for you to listen to. First, we need to see what the teachings in the Bible are.
The first point to share: Jesus before the age of thirty, submitted to the authority of his earthly parents.
Jesus is different from Adam; Adam had no childhood. When he was created by God, he was already an adult. But Jesus had a childhood; He had a process of growth and knowledge accumulation. In this regard, we have many similarities with Jesus. The principle behind Jesus’ actions is to tell us that we can also interact with children in this way. Before the age of twelve, who taught Jesus? It was Mary and Joseph. How did they teach this child? They could only teach according to the Law of Moses at that time. You cannot think of Mary and Joseph as exceptionally great or knowledgeable; they were just ordinary people, not wealthy, and could not hire the best teachers to educate Jesus from a young age.
From this perspective, if we teach our children according to God’s word, and if the Holy Spirit is within them, they can also excel in the world. This is the hope of every parent. We need to return to the Bible to see what happened at that time. I just mentioned that today, Jewish education for children before the age of twelve mainly revolves around the Five Books of Moses. It is impossible for children under twelve to learn too many things; they cannot accept it.
They are taught simple things repeatedly, practicing them over and over. The Five Books of Moses are the first five books of the Bible. It can be imagined that before Jesus turned twelve, his parents taught him these things, with the principle being to let the child know what is right and what is wrong before the age of twelve. Many people do not know what the standard of right and wrong is. Remember: the standard of right and wrong is not the parents, but the Bible. Jews do not impose their views on their children; they use the Bible as the standard to tell children what is correct and what is incorrect. This is what we need to teach our children.
Proverbs 23:12-14
12 Apply your heart to instruction, and your ears to words of knowledge. 13 Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. 14 You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell.
What does this indicate? Is it advocating corporal punishment? Here it first mentions how parents should teach their children. Verse 12 tells us how to do this: you must apply your heart to instruction. You must first receive God’s word. If you do not have God’s word within you, you will discipline your child in your own way. If you have God’s word within you, you will use God’s word to teach your child. As parents, you must first become a son, listen to the words of the Heavenly Father, and then teach your children; that is the correct way. First receive instruction, and listen to words of knowledge.
Brothers and sisters, where does wisdom and knowledge come from? It comes from the word of God in the Bible. You must first receive it, and after receiving it, you teach your children according to God’s words, and that is sufficient. What if they do not listen? This refers to before the age of twelve. If a child does not listen before the age of twelve, you must not neglect to discipline the child.
Is discipline just about hitting them? Discipline means training. We have talked about God’s discipline before; we should discipline our children in the same way God disciplines us. This is the principle: first receive God’s word, and as God disciplines us, we then discipline our children.
First, let me clarify something: discipline is not through sickness or accidents; God does not discipline us this way, and we should not discipline our children this way either. The original meaning of discipline is training. How do you train? When you first teach and train a child, you start with words. When the child cannot speak yet, do you not first teach them to say “dad” and “mom”? First use your words to teach them how to do things.
We are the same; we first receive God’s word, and God first waters us with His word, providing for us. So what if they do not listen? At this time, you must use the correct method.
How many parents see their children misbehaving and want to hit them? But a slap or a kick will have what effect on the child? What are our hands for? In the Bible, when we raise our hands, it signifies authority. At the same time, Jesus also reached out His hand to touch the leper; that was the power of love.
Brothers and sisters, remember: your hands should only be used to comfort and encourage your child. You must not use your hand to encourage them one moment and then slap them the next. If you do this, when the child sees you raise your hand, they will be very fearful. God has given us the simplest way: you should use a rod.
Should we keep a rod at home?
In the past, Chinese education mentioned using a rod or whip to educate children. They did not use their hands to hit; later, many people thought that was too much trouble and simply used their hands and feet. In fact, this method confuses the child about whether you want to hit them or comfort them. The Bible tells us to keep a rod in that place. When they make a mistake, you must first tell them it is wrong, and then use the rod to correct them. You do this precisely because you love them; this way of educating and disciplining them will not lead to their death.
Many families first discipline the child with both hands and feet, only to find that the child still does not listen, and in the end, they say, “Forget it, let them be.” Both of these are extremes. In such situations, parents end up crying, not knowing what to do because no matter what they do, the child does not listen.
So the wisdom God gives us is that before the age of twelve, you must keep a rod in that place. If the child is wrong, tell them it is wrong. If they continue to do so, then you can correct them. This is how I discipline my children. In the end, what do these two little ones do? Before making a mistake, they hide the rod. Up to now, I have lost four or five of them; I do not know where they went.
They will not hate your hand; they know that when you extend your hand, you will not hit them but will always comfort, love, and encourage them. What they hate is the rod. When they see I am not around, they will destroy the rod. In fact, when children grow up, that thing will no longer be needed, but you cannot cut off your hand. If you leave them with a shadow when they are young, when they grow up and see your hand, they will be very afraid. This is wisdom. Brothers and sisters, you should use the rod to correct them, and you can save their souls from hell. This means that when they are clearly wrong, you must use the rod to point out their mistakes and help them turn back. If you say at the beginning, “It does not matter; they are so small, what do they know?” problems will arise.
Before the age of twelve, parents must first reach an agreement. You must first receive God’s word and educate the child under a unified opinion. Never let the situation arise where the father is teaching, and the mother says, “Do not hit him; he is still small.” If the mother stops this, the child will think, “Father is wrong; I am right.” In the end, the teaching will be ineffective.
Jews educate their children according to the biblical way; wrong is wrong, and the standard is consistent. Many people do not understand this teaching and say, “You cannot hit the child; he is still small. What if he gets hurt?” If you do not teach them when they are young, when they grow up, others will teach them. In more serious cases, the world will teach them, and the serious consequences are something no one wants to see.
This is before the age of twelve, when the child does not distinguish between right and wrong; you must tell them what is correct. So do we have a unified standard? The standard of right and wrong should be God’s word, which is the Bible. Under this principle, we teach children together. We first receive, and then we teach. Between the ages of twelve and thirty, you must respect them as adults and consult them on everything.
Now the more serious problem is that many parents, even when their children are fifty, still do not let go and treat them as children. In this case, the child’s heart is quite twisted. Many times, parents continuously use their authority: this cannot be done, that cannot be done. After the age of twelve, this method cannot be used; after the age of twelve, they are adults and must be consulted. You must guide them to recognize more truth so that their wisdom and stature can grow together.
Among the Jews, a boy is considered an adult at the age of twelve. Why is he considered an adult? Because he has adult thoughts in his heart, but his body is not yet mature. His thoughts are the same as those of adults, so if you are unfair to him, he can immediately refute you. After the age of twelve, you must respect him. Jesus, after the age of twelve, could independently worship God in the temple; before the age of twelve, he had to go with his parents. The Bible does not mention what happened between Jesus and his parents before he turned twelve; at that time, he had to follow the opinions of Joseph and Mary. On the day he turned twelve, he was already considered an adult, so he could independently ask the rabbis questions.
During these feasts, he would not be with his parents because at that time, the Israelites had three opportunities each year to worship their God in Jerusalem. Traveling to Jerusalem for the feast required a long journey. To avoid encountering bandits on the road, most people would travel in groups. Their custom was for women and children to walk in front while men walked behind. A twelve-year-old boy could follow his mother or the last group of people; he already had the right to make his own choices.
As I mentioned earlier, men walk at the back. Therefore, Jesus could choose to walk either in front or behind, which led to a problem. Perhaps Mary and Joseph both thought Jesus was among the other group, so they did not realize Jesus had left with them. This led to the problem we see today. If the parents were together and Jesus was missing, they would definitely notice, right?
Because the formation was different, one was in front and the other behind, they both thought, “Jesus might be with you,” so they did not pay attention to this matter. When they realized he was not with them, they returned to look for Jesus. This led to the problem we see today. At that time, the Jewish temple was the best place to learn the Bible. The Apostle Paul studied in Jerusalem with the best teacher of the time, Gamaliel; they might have also been learning in the temple. During the Passover, high-ranking Jewish law teachers would gather to teach and discuss significant truths, somewhat like our seminaries today.
During these feasts, these experts in biblical knowledge would discuss what to do about this issue and that issue, some difficult problems they would start to discuss together. One essential topic at that time was when the Messiah would come because, according to the prophecies in the Bible, the Messiah should be coming soon. There were prophecies in the Bible, and these people began to discuss together. From various perspectives, the day of the Messiah’s coming was near.
Just like today, when theologians with rich biblical knowledge gather, they must discuss the issue of when Jesus will return. This situation is somewhat similar. They were discussing together because everyone was looking forward to the coming of the Messiah. So when most of the crowd left Jerusalem, Jesus stayed behind, fully focused on discussing with these religious leaders. What was Jesus’ attitude at that time?
Let’s look at Luke 2:46. After three days, they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions.
At that time, Jesus was twelve years old, and he had been in the temple for nearly ten days because they worshiped during the feast for a week, and then they returned for another three days, making it about ten days. Jesus was in the temple, first listening to how they discussed, continuously listening, and then asking questions. This is an attitude we should have as teachers; when teaching others, we must first learn to be listeners. Have you noticed that when a child is unaware of something, they look at you intently, completely focused on listening? They believe what you say, and that is the faith of children.
After three days, perhaps after Mary and Joseph frantically inquired, they finally found Jesus in the temple, sitting among the teachers. Undoubtedly, these teachers had never seen a twelve-year-old child with such understanding, wisdom, and insight. I just mentioned that when a person reaches the age of twelve, others must see him as an adult. If Jesus had been eleven years old, these teachers and law experts would have said, “If you have questions, go home and ask your parents; we are not obligated to answer you.” But now that Jesus was twelve, he had the right to ask the rabbis questions and could listen to their teachings. The rabbis also had to patiently teach him and discuss with him.
From this, we can see that although Jesus is God, He is also a complete person. His wisdom and stature did not come from an instant filling of the Holy Spirit; they were learned. Some special sects emphasize the gifts of the Holy Spirit and abandon everything else, saying, “We have the Holy Spirit, so why learn knowledge? When I pray, God makes me understand the Bible; when I pray, the words in the Bible come out.” They have gone to such extremes. Did the Holy Spirit work when Jesus preached? If we follow those people’s reasoning, wouldn’t everything He learned before be useless?
Before the age of thirty, there is no mention of Jesus being filled with the Holy Spirit; He was continuously learning in this process, learning knowledge of the world while also inquiring. The Bible mentions that His stature and wisdom grew together; it was not that God suddenly bestowed it upon Him. This is the normal trajectory of a human life.
We also need to understand this point. Do not say that once you believe in Jesus, you do not need to learn anymore. When the time comes, just pray, and the Holy Spirit will remind you of the answers. You can rest assured that if you do not remember, do not go to extremes. Here I want to tell everyone: what we should do, we must do; we cannot be lazy. Jesus did not make us lazy. He is the Son of God, and before the age of thirty, He was also the son of Mary and Joseph, so He learned to be a listener, both listening and asking.
The Bible says that when Mary and Joseph saw Jesus, they were very surprised and said, “Why have you worried us so? We have come to find you with great sorrow.” Is this not a normal reaction of parents? Jesus’ answer surprised them a bit.
Jesus said, “Did you not know that I must be about my Father’s business?” The translation in the Chinese Bible is “Did you not know that I must be concerned with my Father’s matters?” Jesus was laying the foundation for the work He would do after He became an adult. He would face a group of people who were very familiar with the Bible. So before this, Jesus had already made preparations; He needed to learn the things of these people to accept the mission given to Him by the Heavenly Father.
Now I want to tell you how to view our children. Do not treat your child as your personal property; they are not. They belong to God. Just think about how Mary and Joseph viewed Jesus. Is Jesus theirs? Yes, He is theirs, but He is also not theirs because when she was pregnant, the angel said, “You will bear a son, and He will save His people from their sins.” So Mary also knew that this child was different: He is both my son and not my son; He is the Son of the Heavenly Father. We should view the children God has given us in this way, and then you will not abuse them or spoil them, because spoiling will lead the child into a misunderstanding.
Jesus was very clear at that time; He knew that He would proclaim the gospel of the kingdom and lead people into God’s kingdom, making them recognize the love of the Heavenly Father. At that time, Jesus’ parents clearly forgot this; they did not understand what Jesus meant and just said, “Let’s go home.” At that time, Jesus listened to and obeyed them and went home with them.
The Bible mentions that Jesus was obedient to them and returned to Nazareth with them. Jesus learned obedience through the things He suffered. Many times, we think of obedience as painful or unpleasant experiences. However, before the age of thirty, Jesus obeyed His parents. You know, this is a form of suffering, right? Is Jesus fully God? Is He fully man? But at this time, He had to listen to two ordinary people, and sometimes their teachings might not even be correct.
For example, at that time, they said, “Why are you staying here? We ran three days to find you; you made us so worried, do you know?” Jesus said, “Should I not be here?” Was Jesus right in saying this? But He had to go home with His parents. Jesus said, “Okay.” You know, this kind of obedience is suffering. When it comes to the mission of the Heavenly Father, there must be obedience involved. Obedience means that before the age of thirty, we must have this attitude toward our parents; we must have this attitude and not despise our parents, even if they are sometimes wrong, we must still obey them. Amen!
Because Jesus knew that He must first be the son of the earth before being the son of heaven, He also knew that one day Mary and Joseph would enter the inheritance of the Heavenly Father because of Him. But He understood that first, He was the son of Mary and Joseph. Then at the age of thirty, Jesus was ready to fully enter the mission of the Heavenly Father, at which point He could freely do His work. The Bible does not record the living conditions of Jesus after the age of twelve, but undoubtedly, His life was one of continuous learning and growth.
Here it mentions that Jesus’ wisdom and stature, and the favor of God and men, all grew together. According to Jewish tradition at that time, as parents, the first thing was to teach their children the Five Books of Moses, and secondly, to pass on a skill to their children. These are two of the three essential duties of Jewish parents. First, teach the child using the Five Books of Moses; second, pass on your skills to the child. The Bible mentions, “Is this not the carpenter’s son?” This proves that Joseph’s profession was a carpenter, and he passed this on to Jesus. To this day, many Jews follow this custom: first teach the child the Five Books of Moses, and then pass on all their skills to their sons. The third is to find a wife for him, which completes the responsibilities of the parents.
Between the ages of twelve and thirty, Joseph had already passed on his skills to Jesus. Joseph had passed away during these eighteen years, and as the eldest son in the family, Jesus had to take on the responsibility of caring for the entire family.
The Bible records that Jesus took on the role of a carpenter until the age of thirty. Brothers and sisters, in this ordinary life, Jesus was able to truly understand the living conditions of ordinary Jewish people. Although Jesus is unique, His childhood and youth were not much different from ours. His growth was the same as ours; His stature and wisdom grew continuously, and in the process of interacting with people, His relationship with God and man became increasingly intimate. Jesus before the age of thirty is like us. Now, young people around the age of thirty, you have a qualification; you are like Jesus, the only difference being that Jesus was different after the age of thirty.
From this, we can see that Jesus’ adolescent life is the same as ours. In this process, His life is a balanced and complete life. Therefore, Jesus’ stature and wisdom, as well as His social interactions, grew harmoniously. This is something we should understand. Today, many people lack one side; some only grow physically but not in wisdom, while others grow a little in wisdom but not physically. Therefore, both spiritual nourishment and physical growth must be supplied. Most parents pay special attention to their children’s physical growth, but in terms of their children’s spirits, many parents bring about twisted or even traumatic results. The consequence of this is that once the child reaches the age of thirty, the changes in their heart will be fully exposed, and their relationship with their parents will directly manifest, which can be very bad.
This turning point occurs during those eighteen years. The Bible mentions that the favor of God and man toward Him grew together. The health of body, mind, and spirit is extremely important. Christians cannot only focus on the kingdom of heaven while neglecting the earth. Many people believe in Jesus to the point that they say, “I do not care about you; God loves me, and God has forgiven me. What does it matter if I offend you? After all, the Heavenly Father accepts me.” They completely ignore this aspect of humanity. Some people are worse; after believing in Jesus, they have no relationship with God. They believe in Jesus but completely interact with people, have no communication with God, do not pray, do not read the Bible, do not like gatherings, and only focus on one side while neglecting the other. The heart of favor with God and man should grow together. Hallelujah!
We must pay special attention to the education of children before the age of twelve. Do not impose our thoughts on them. Once the child reaches the age of twelve, you must respect them, consult them on everything, and encourage them to do their own things. If they fail, it does not matter. Although they may not be physically mature, they already have adult thoughts in their hearts, their own ideas, and things they want to do. Many families have many blind spots and misconceptions in educating their children, leading to many traumatic consequences for the children.
Let me read you a story, a true story about parents spoiling their child, which you can refer to. A person recorded a special situation about their roommate, and the parents came to see her. She said, “When I was living with my roommate, who was four years older than me, her bed and desk could be described as a pigsty. One day, her mother came to see her and spent a total of one hour without sitting down, constantly tidying up her things, while she lay on the bed watching variety shows, saying, ‘Okay, that’s enough.’ This aunt looked at my desk and bed and said, ‘Yours is the cleanest and tidiest in the room.’
Unexpectedly, my roommate said, ‘That’s just a waste of time on surface work.’” This roommate’s favorite thing to do was to lie on the bed and call her parents sweetly. Secondly, she liked to buy and eat. Although she was the oldest in the dorm, she needed everyone to accommodate her in everything, completely self-centered, unable to tolerate not being spoiled. When she got angry, she would curse, and when she was happy, she would laugh. In the early morning, when others were still asleep, she could wake them up with her laughter. When chatting, interrupting and denying others was common. Basically, meeting her once would make people feel disgusted. Even so, she actively participated in various blind dates, fantasizing about marrying a rich second generation. Her life principle was that if there is one, all the world is my mother.
Are there many people like this around? Everything must accommodate her. Some say, “Isn’t this just a child who hasn’t grown up?” Yes, many people criticize this child, but I want to say, who made her this way? Before the age of twelve, you can help her do these things, but after the age of twelve, these things must be completed independently by her. This is our aspect of teaching children. Today, so many parents in the Lord keep asking me, “What should I do about my child? When they come home, they do nothing but play games…” Some have completed their PhDs overseas but come home and lie on the bed playing games, unwilling to do anything. They ask what to do.
Brothers and sisters, where is the problem? We think it is the child’s problem, but in reality, it is the parents’ teaching that is the problem.
To this day, many parents still have not let go, which has caused their children to not know what gratitude is or what independence is. These people have grown older, their stature has grown tall, but they lack wisdom. In their hearts, they are still infants, and in behavior, they are highly self-centered, not understanding social rules or human relationships, lacking independence and responsibility. We must be wise parents. Many families do not realize this. A mother loves her child very much and wants to give them the best, arranging everything for them. In fact, that is a lack of respect.
Many families, when giving, worry about dropping the child, doing everything for them: “Look, how much I love you!” In this process, most parents impose their own will on the child, believing that the child is the entire meaning of their life, projecting their unfulfilled ideals and wishes onto the child.
Why do so many parents enroll their children in various tutoring classes before the age of twelve, such as art, music, and dance? They make the child learn these things. When it comes time for the child to choose a career, they say, “You should be a doctor; this profession makes the most money.” Why do they want the child to do this? Because they want to be a doctor, regardless of whether the child is willing or not. They never ask the child if they are willing. Moreover, many families say, “All our unfulfilled wishes are entrusted to you.”
This is what we mean by “Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself.” Teaching these things is to tell you: if you have not done these things or are currently doing them as parents, you must have discernment and not impose your will on your children. Many children have lost their childhood because they have to learn these things every day. They are walking step by step along the path arranged by their parents: going to a good school, finding a good job, and marrying a suitable partner, gradually becoming an ordinary person.
These parents do not allow their children to have their own thoughts and actions. Once the child has a bit of rebellious psychology, the parents cry and complain, saying, “Everything I do is for you.” They mercilessly place this heavy burden on the child. This child’s body grows day by day, but in their heart, they feel worthless. This child believes they are the center of the world, the entirety of their parents, which cultivates an overly narcissistic mentality.
Let us look at how Mary and Joseph taught Jesus. Did they allow Jesus to wander around in the temple? Would you, as parents today, take your twelve-year-old child to a large worship center and let them wander freely? Do not forget that Jerusalem was a gathering of tens of thousands of people. Would you let your child run off on their own?
Some say, “No way! I have to keep an eye on my child. Wherever they go, I must watch them. I think this cannot be done; they cannot do that.” But in the Jewish area, at the age of twelve, they have the right to do such things. If we do not understand this and excessively impose our thoughts on our children, it will lead to their physical growth, but their hearts will remain stuck at the age of twelve. What will the consequences be? The child will be unable to be independent, have no thoughts of their own, and will rely on you for everything, becoming a dependent adult. Do not complain; this is what you have caused. We must learn the wisdom in the Bible, which tells us to teach children according to the way God has given us in the Bible. This way, we can be relaxed, and the child will be a healthy child. Amen!
The second point to share: Jesus after the age of thirty, submitted to the authority of the Heavenly Father, and we should do the same.
Let’s look at Jesus’ life, which changed entirely after the age of thirty. Luke 3:21-23
21 When all the people were baptized, it came to pass that Jesus also was baptized; and while He prayed, the heaven was opened. 22 And the Holy Spirit descended in bodily form like a dove upon Him, and a voice came from heaven which said, “You are My beloved Son; in You I am well pleased.” 23 Now Jesus Himself began His ministry at about thirty years of age, being (as was supposed) the son of Joseph, the son of Heli.
After the age of thirty, He was an independent person with a sound mind, thoughts, and actions. We must distinguish our lives: before the age of twelve, we can teach them what is right and what is wrong; between the ages of twelve and thirty, you can consult them and let them have their own choices; after the age of thirty, the two words for you are “let go.”
In this way, we have an account to the Heavenly Father and to the child. Otherwise, you might create a robot or a half-finished product, and the child will never grow up. After the age of thirty, in the Jewish area, what He did could be recognized by everyone; that was His own thought. This is why Jesus went out to preach at the age of thirty, and people could believe Him.
And the Holy Spirit also began to fill Him at that time, teaching Him from that day forward, giving Him a new way of life. Before the age of thirty, He acted according to His family’s way. After the age of thirty, did Jesus ever go back to being a carpenter? Because after the age of thirty, He began to fulfill the mission given to Him by the Heavenly Father. Hallelujah!
We have a saying: at thirty, one stands firm, establishes a family, and a career. Why thirty? God knew when He created us that a person is considered mentally mature at the age of thirty. But if their heart has already reached thirty, and the parents still treat them as if they are twelve, saying this cannot be done and that cannot be done, their body is sound, but their heart is still twelve; that is a problem. So when you first teach them, when they reach thirty, you let go, and they can do what they want to do. After the age of thirty, Jesus was able to practice the will of the Heavenly Father.
John 2:1-5
1 On the third day, there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2 Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. 3 And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” 4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”
A great mother does not force her child to do what they do not want to do, but respects their words. Just as Mary knew her son was the Son of God, although in the flesh she was Jesus’ mother, Mary was very clear that spiritually she also needed to look up to Jesus and be saved by Him. What does this passage mean? It is clear that this is the order of the earth; relatives’ wedding feasts, Jesus and His disciples were also invited. It seems that His mother Mary had a close relationship with this family; otherwise, she would not be concerned about these matters.
I have mentioned before that Jews marry at night, and the feast is also held at night. Suddenly, when they were eating, they ran out of wine. Where would they go to buy it? Mary saw this and was very anxious, so she found Jesus and said, “They have no wine.” Jesus was not a wine seller. Was Mary looking up to Jesus at this moment? Mary knew, “My son is not an ordinary person; He is someone I can look up to.” This is Mary’s faith.
But at this moment, Jesus said something that many people do not understand. Jesus said, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.” In the original text, it is “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.” What does this mean? Is Jesus disrespecting His mother? How can He say, “Woman, you have no right to ask me to do anything; I have a set time to do things”? That is the meaning, right? Why could Jesus say such words? At first glance, it seems that Jesus is disrespecting His mother!
At this moment, do not forget that when Mary went to find Jesus, she saw Him as the Savior. So at this moment, Jesus was not speaking to Mary from the identity of a fleshly son but from the identity of the Son of God. What He meant was, “I know about this matter; I have a time to do things.”
At this moment, Jesus was revealing the glory of the Heavenly Father, not fulfilling Mary’s wishes. These are two concepts; do you understand? To extend this, if your son is over thirty years old, at this time, if you have something to discuss with him, if your son says, “I will not do this,” then that is it. Do not say, “You ungrateful thing, have you grown wings? My words no longer matter?” Do not do this, wise mothers and fathers. Do not do this. What if he disagrees?
Well, how did Mary respond? She said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.” Did she ask, “Why is your hour not yet come? When will it come?” Isn’t this a characteristic of many parents? “You’re thirty and still say your hour has not come; when will it come? I tell you, whenever I say it is time, it is time.” This is a mother being unreasonable. At this moment, Mary was actually doing the right thing. We need to become wise parents like this.
Your child is thirty years old; you must learn to let go. If he does not want to do this, do not force him to do it; let him choose his own life. Jesus was acting from the perspective of God to perform miracles. At this moment, He was revealing the power of God as the Son of the Heavenly Father. All of this was not for Mary but for the needs of the disciples and family.
Let’s look at the conclusion in John 2:11. This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.
The purpose of Jesus performing miracles is to reveal the glory of Him as the Son of God and to let His disciples believe in Him, that He is the Messiah sent by God. It was not for Mary; it was not that Mary said a word and Jesus had to perform a miracle. No, the purpose of Jesus doing all this was to reveal the will of the Heavenly Father. Many families tell their children, “You must study hard, work hard; I am counting on you to bring glory to the family.” This is for their own glory, while Jesus’ life was to glorify His Heavenly Father. After the age of thirty, He no longer lived for you but for the Heavenly Father. If you can realize this and let him realize that he lives for the Heavenly Father, his life may be more magnificent than you imagine. Amen!
After the age of thirty, you let go, and our Heavenly Father takes over. Just like Jesus, at the age of thirty, when Mary let go and no longer interfered with Him, the guidance given to Him by the Heavenly Father officially began. If Mary had guided Him step by step, do you think Jesus could have gone to the cross? “I am dragging you from behind; you cannot go up. I will die for you; you cannot go to the cross.” This is something a mother can do, right? But she fulfilled the will of our Heavenly Father. I hope all parents will use this mindset to view their children. Sons and daughters are the inheritance given to you by Jehovah, but they are not your personal property!
Let me emphasize again, after the age of thirty, what parents need to do is to let go, let go. This does not mean neglecting them; it means you should not interfere with their choices. However, you must pray for them.
Both extremes are not feasible. The first is to hold on tightly, making all the choices for them. The second is to say, “Anyway, you won’t listen to me, so I won’t care.” The correct way is for them to have their own choices, to pray for them, and also to give them some advisory references. The choice still lies with them; otherwise, it will affect the child’s development and the maturity of their character. During Jesus’ ministry, did His mother and relatives interfere with Him? Do not forget that Mary was an ordinary woman, and there will always be some people’s thoughts. So when your child does something you do not understand, what should you do? Do not deny it first; do not listen to what others say and believe it. First, pray to the Heavenly Father!
Mark 3:20-21
20 Then the multitude came together again, so that they could not so much as eat bread. 21 But when His own people heard about this, they went out to lay hold of Him, for they said, “He is out of His mind.”
If we were to use what some people say today: “You are a good carpenter; why not do that? What good will come from preaching? You preach, but you do not even eat; isn’t that crazy? Isn’t that delusional?” So His relatives wanted to pull Him back to the “right path”: “Just work hard; what are you preaching?” From a human perspective, is this not normal? But what was Jesus doing? What Jesus was doing was what we needed most. This serves as a reminder for parents and teachers to be vigilant. Many things we think are incorrect; just because you think they are incorrect does not mean they are necessarily wrong.
Times are constantly evolving, and you will find many new things emerging that many parents cannot accept. For example, internet cafes have appeared, and children go there to play. Many parents think that is a place that misleads children and wastes their lives. If your child wants to learn that and develop in that area in the future, is that not a good thing? That is a new type of industry. For us, many things we do not understand do not mean they are wrong. The important thing is not to deny it first; you must pray for him before God, bless him, and let God guide his path.
If at that time, Jesus’ relatives had known this and prayed before the Heavenly Father, I believe the Holy Spirit would have revealed to them, saying, “What He is doing is correct; do not interfere with Him.” The problem is that they wanted to restrain Jesus because they heard others say He was out of His mind. Have you noticed how many people have been harmed by third-party gossip? Many times, not trusting your own child is because you listen to what others say and begin to criticize indiscriminately. Many children’s dreams are thus stifled. Perhaps in our place, parents particularly like obedient children; whatever you tell them to do, they must do.
But in Western and Jewish areas, they emphasize the child’s self-thought. Because before the age of twelve, they taught the Five Books of Moses and had already told them God’s words; between the ages of twelve and thirty, they guided them to recognize the truth. By the age of thirty, these truths had taken root in their hearts. At this time, it is the child using what they learned before; you can understand it as thinking outside the box.
This term may not sound good in China, but thinking outside the box is not daydreaming; it is thinking according to God’s way. Perhaps it is indeed different from the world, and then the heavens will open, and this matter can be accomplished. If we all just focus on getting good grades in school, then graduating, finding a good job, and working, who will be the boss? If everyone does this, how will society develop? Do not stifle your child’s dreams, brothers and sisters. We must be wise parents; this requires wisdom.
Let’s look at a passage of scripture for reflection. Proverbs 3:21-26
21 My son, let them not depart from your eyes—keep sound wisdom and discretion; 22 So they will be life to your soul and grace to your neck. 23 Then you will walk safely in your way, and your foot will not stumble. 24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid; yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. 25 Do not be afraid of sudden terror, nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; 26 For the Lord will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being caught.
Where does true wisdom come from? It comes from God’s word, and strategy also comes from God. Not letting these depart from your eyes means that while teaching others, you must also be a person who continually receives. Thus, she will be life to your soul and grace to your neck. Then you will walk safely in your way, and your foot will not stumble.
So once your child reaches the age of thirty, let them learn to rely on God and live independently. After the age of twelve, if they have ideas, encourage them to pursue them. If they fail, it does not matter. Do not say they cannot do this; what if they fail? They will forever remain at the age of twelve. This is why some people are forty years old and still want to do something but do not dare to do it because their parents never encouraged them. If this process is missing, the child will always want to do something but will not dare to do it. Now you can try to fill in the gap between the ages of twelve and thirty; in Christ, you can do it. First receive God’s word, and then go do it.
Here it says you will walk safely in your way, and your foot will not stumble. Our God is your guide; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. This means that on your life path, even if you encounter some dangerous and fearful things, do not be afraid, for your God is with you. He is your confidence; He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.
Today, I shared this segment about how to teach our children. Let’s briefly review:
Before the age of twelve, teach them according to God’s standard, telling them what is right and what is wrong;
Between the ages of twelve and thirty, they have their own thoughts; encourage them to pursue them and guide them to live out the truth;
After the age of thirty, learn to let go, pray for them more, and refrain from suppressing them with your own will. Encourage them to live out their unique lives.
You place them in God’s hands: “Lord, my child is in Your hands.” Just like Jesus, after the age of thirty, He belongs to the Heavenly Father, and what He must accomplish is the mission given to Him by the Heavenly Father. Encourage your child between the ages of twelve and thirty to have their own thoughts and strive toward their dreams. After that, what you need to do is pray for them more. May today’s words bring you help!
Let us pray together.
Heavenly Father! Thank you and praise You! In this world, one important thing is raising children, and we need Your wisdom. Let us learn to submit to the authority of the Heavenly Father through Jesus’ obedience. First, receive Your word, and then use Your word to teach my children. Thank you and praise You!
Thank you for placing such a detailed way of life in the Bible for us to follow. You are my Heavenly Father, my caretaker. I no longer fear the journey ahead because You help me. You will keep my foot and lead me because You are my reliance and will keep me from falling into traps. I am willing to let Your word be a lamp to my feet and a light to my path every day.
As we begin a new week, I am willing to receive Your provision and live out Your victorious style. I pray in the name of Lord Jesus. Amen!